hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize