Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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