Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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