I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Randomize