Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
