she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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