Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
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It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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