So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize