No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
