yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
