Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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