so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
