I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.