Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well you can't waste a boner
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
