Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back