Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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