He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
