So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
