I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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