How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We need to get me chipped asap
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize