All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
