Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
