So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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