Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
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I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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