My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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