So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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