please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
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this beer tastes like vomit already
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
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I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.