we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.