do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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