then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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