I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize