Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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