dude i'm inner monologue high
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
