Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
