No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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