so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
As shirtless as possible
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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