hell yes lets make some ravioli
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
