kristin has been a bad kristin
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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