Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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