I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
