This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize