I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
