He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
