Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
