Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
