yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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