come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
