I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
