she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love you.
Bad choice
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
