he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
