I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I believe in your delicious
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
