I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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