drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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