mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
