i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
