I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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