I just threw up on my dentist
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
